Let's Celebrate

March 10, 2025

          Having a child with autism changes your perspective on what is important and what achievement truly is.

          I have a story from a currently ongoing experience with Cara that demonstrates this beautifully. Cara loves the Baby Einstein DVDs and watches them over and over again. Recently, her Baby Van Gogh disc broke. This was very upsetting to her. So, I endeavored to get a new disc for her.

          My first try was a set of discs. The description said had Baby Van Gogh in it. When it arrived, it did not have the Baby Van Gogh disc in it. I looked at the picture from the original listing and Baby Van Gogh was not in the picture. We had told Cara what day the disc was arriving. She came into my bedroom that night and said “Wednesday, Baby Van Gogh.” I was heartbroken when I had to tell her that it would not arrive until Saturday.

          My second attempt was just the single disc. I ordered it right away when I realized we hadn’t gotten it, and that is why I was able to tell Cara the disc would arrive on Saturday. When the disc arrived, though, it was not the right one. It was Baby Van Gogh, but apparently, they had remade it, or at least changed the cover. Cara started asking for Baby Van Gogh 2002. The kid knows what she wants and I was thrilled that she was able to communicate this with us.

          We are now on our third try. I managed to find what appears to be a Baby Van Gogh 2002. The cover matches Cara’s current one exactly. I am praying that it is really what it says it is. I do not know when it is arriving though, so I had to tell Cara I would let her know when I found out when it was coming.

          I could get upset that Cara is being so exacting about this, but the fact that she is able to communicate to us as much as she has been able to in this situation is amazing and I will celebrate that instead of getting upset.

          Communication with Cara has always been one of our greatest challenges. It is hard to explain, but she seems to have a block on a lot of verbal communication. She can answer written questions in sentences, but is usually unable to form sentences on her own verbally. She can memorize sentences and uses them appropriate verbally, but she cannot create her own. We got her a communication device many years ago, but she has always resisted using it – except for scripting. That is Cara for you.

          I understand where she is coming from. There are things that I want to be exactly the same myself (I have autism myself, for those of you who do not know). For example, I have one particular mechanical pencil that I like to use. Unfortunately, they are no longer available in stores. I was running out of them (they just seem to disappear) and managed to find some on Ebay. They came from overseas, but I did not care. I was just so happy to have them.

          In closing, I want to say that celebrating the small victories should apply to everyone. Do not focus on the big things like a promotion. Focus on the little things. Sometimes, it is just getting out of bed and putting one foot in front of the other. Maybe you tried a new recipe and it came out just right. Maybe you changed the flat tire on your car. Maybe you gave someone a hug when they needed it. Celebrate the small things. If we wait for the big things, then we miss out on a lot of celebration.